My favorite T.V. quote was spoken by a grandmother (played by Tyne Daly in “Judging Amy”) to her eleven-year-old grand-daughter whom she finds sitting at the kitchen table casually flipping through the pages of a periodical. The young girl suddenly asks, “Grandma? What is ‘Anorexia’?”
The Grandmother calmly slips the reading material out from under the mesmerized child’s eyes, tossing it quickly into the garbage can as she answers with conviction, “It’s a disease women get from reading magazines.”
Disclaimer: I would like to first say that I am sure that you, my intelligent reader, could not possibly need to hear one word of what you are about to read. In fact, I’d like to say that no person exists who doesn’t already see straight through such subjects. Sadly, I know better. Sickly, I know several. So…here’s to you, my foolish friends. J (The rest of you can read on, too.)
As I watch my children grow into teenage sponges, anxiously absorbing anything they hear that doesn’t come from me or the pulpit, I can’t help but realize how sly, manipulative, and even malicious media can be. All forms. My form of choice is printed…in black and white. That way, I can easily analyze, re-reading it several times if I must.
So, in preparation to make my point here, I set out to find a claim I could dissect and dissolve. It didn’t take me long! I grabbed the first thing I saw…which, thanks to today’s postal prolapse, I quickly found…hidden from little eyes…in my own bathroom garbage can. I opened it up somewhere near the middle, and never even had to turn the page to find a valid example. Not even once.
"Experience T.E.H. Collection. Created with the powerful anti-oxidant, sushiguts. A proven anti-aging ingredient found in nature, sushiguts goes deep to keep cells healthier, longer while being gentle on the skin--making it the perfect anti-aging solution for even the most sensitive skin."
The above is a slightly altered (name & ingredient only) paragraph is found in a recent copy of a world-wide, well known style magazine. (In fact, the magazine is quite “in style.” J) The opposite page displays the most beautiful brunette with an illuminating complexion…without a wrinkle on her face or a grey hair on her head. The reader can’t help but admire and envy her captivating beauty. She looks so fresh and young. (Okay, stupid…that’s because she is young. And painted over, in case you are really that gullible.)
To the casual reader, the two-page spread appears to be just another well-researched and reliable article published by the popular, prestigious periodical. Of course, if one is diligent enough to run for their glasses and some good lighting before absorbing the implications as fact, one small, lightly printed word does appear in its strategically-placed, easy-to-miss location on the first page. One word that should slap any logical reader with clue numero uno. It reads, "Advertisement."
At he very least, THAT should remove SOME of your gullible acceptance, with the knowledge that a company, determined to pocket your money, has paid big bucks to purchase the very large space…just so that your eyes would see it, hopefully fall for it, and make them all the richer for it This fact should send you sprinting for your mental magnifying glass before moving to your computer to tap your credit card numbers onto the already green fields of their website.
First, let us dissect the paragraph, shall we?
First sentence:
"Experience T.E.H. Collection," means, simply, "Buy and use our product." Well, doesn’t that go without saying? Sure…but the reason they said that…and printed it exactly where it is…is not quite so obvious, at first glance.
Second Sentence:
“Created with the powerful anti-oxidant, [sushiguts]”. By golly…grab your phone! Run to your computer!
Nah…how ‘bout ya jest keep reading, Dopey.
Third Sentence:
“A proven anti-aging ingredient found in nature, sushiguts goes deep to keep cells healthier, longer while being gentle on the skin--making it the perfect anti-aging solution for even the most sensitive skin."
Well, kiss my Aunt and name her Jim-Bob! What do you know...the entire PARAGRAPH is absent of asterisks! There is no legal disclaimer! There are NO key-clue words such as, "may" or “appears”!
YIPPEE! For only four payments of $6,497.oo, I can look like her! This expensive product is a scientifically proven, sensational solution! They could not PRINT such statements, without disclaimers, if there weren’t wide, well-documented, extensively-evaluated studies to back them up, right? That means it is all TRUE, right? Well, yes…and NO.
Yes, the statement must hold some merit. But, wherein doth it lie? Uh, I mean, lay? J
Unfortunately, they broke no laws. They crossed no legal lines. It’s up to YOU to decide where to place your skepticism. They printed the truth. But, keep in mind, my foolish friend…what they printed, may NOT be what you read.
Somehow, they managed to manipulate you into reading that:
T.E.H. Collection is found in nature, it’s anti-oxidants go deep to keep cells healthier, longer while being gentle on the skin--making it the perfect anti-aging solution for even the most sensitive skin. [Really? REALLY???]
No. Not really. Buy some glasses, pop a few brain-boosters and read it again, oh, ye Simpletons.
Released from the bounds of acceptable sentence structure, T.E.H. Collection contains sushiguts! Okay, even if it did say that (which it does not), it does not say whether the product is 98% sushiguts…or 99.99987% generic lotion…with one, miniscule, water-diluted drop of the ever-proven ingredient, sushiguts.
Nor does it say whether there have been any studies to prove that all of the other ingredients don’t completely deactivate and nullify any trace of sushiguts that there may be.
Secondly, remember that punctuation matters!
If you take notice, the paragraph actually says NOTHING AT ALL ABOUT T.E.H. COLLECTIION! Not one word. It suggests you experience it. Period. Then it goes on to profess all the proven benefits of sushiguts. That’s all fine and wonderful, but…they’re not selling sushiguts.
Oh, bag it…I’m just going to read the dad-gum thing FOR you!
"Experience T.E.H. collection.” [Try it. Period. End of sentence. Thought finished.]
“Created with the powerful anti-oxidant, [sushiguts].” [There is no SUBJECT in this incomplete sentence. It only implies that something undisclosed is created with, next to or near sushiguts.]
“A proven anti-aging ingredient found in nature, sushiguts goes deep to keep cells healthier, longer while being gentle on the skin--making it the perfect anti-aging solution for even the most sensitive skin." [Sushiguts is proven. By itself. And it is an ingredient of something not clearly specified.)
“You can’t be so technical!” You sigh as you roll your eyes at me.
Why? The law is. Which is exactly why they intentionally said nothing about the actual product they are selling! Hello! It is entirely possible that there is absolutely nothing they could legally claim, without the use of asterisks and disclaimers…a trick which they’ve finally realized you may catch.
So, perhaps they added a drop of something that is remarkable, in order to make legal statements about that ingredient…and hopefully fool you into reading it as though the statements represented their product. Duh.
Now, when they start selling sushiguts, itself…I may be the first in line. Not. I hate sushi. And I’m not too fond of guts.
With two final words, I shall quit my ranting:
WAKE UP.
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